FML

This is why I never wanted to get involved again. I always get hurt, it ALWAYS is to good to be true. I have been holding back so many things because I know he doesn't want it but I have been all about him for a month now and he's ok with that. The thing is, when it's my turn he can't be there. He accidently said "Ilove you" to me last night, which I could have gotten over if he didn't react like he just stuck his hand in acid after he said it. I mean he literally pushed me away from him. The other day we had a conversation about not blurring the lines of our friendship by calling each other babe, but he called me that yesterday too, I guess that was an accident too. Well whatever it is, it hurts right now and I feel like shit. I am not the ex's and ya know I have been there for him and helped him and listened to him and accepted it all because I know it helps him but I'm starting to see the other shoe dropping. Oh fuck it!!! What did I think was going to happen. Yes I know it's crazy, but my heart is really broken right now....I never wanted this or asked for this and I never ever should have dropped my guard and allowed myself to be here again.